Sunday, August 17, 2014

The Broken Bat



Oh boy.

Okay.

Here we go.

I’ve discussed my fair share of controversial movies in the last few months, but never has my own opinion of a film been more difficult to pin down than in the case of The Dark Knight Rises. I want to like it; I really do, because The Dark Knight is one of my favorite movies ever, and on top of that, I absolutely adore Batman.

[citation needed]

In fact, I saw the movie on opening day, and as I walked out of the theater, I thought it was Bat-mazing. But after I went home, and I started to mull things over, it all began to unravel. First came the little observations: things that just didn’t add up. Then there was the issue of complexity for its own sake: twists and turns that made the film seem more epic in scope – and certainly made it longer – but didn’t get us anywhere a straight line couldn’t have. Worst of all, try as I might, I couldn’t quite pinpoint what the movie was trying to say; be it about Batman, about heroism… about anything, really.

It took two full years for me to watch the movie again – because, honestly, who has that kind of time? – and on my second go around, I was fully prepared to hate it. I caught the tail end of a rerun on HBO, and much to my surprise, I found that it worked a lot better than I remembered. Then I watched it a third time, actually starting from the beginning, and got all kinds of confused.

The things I take issue with in this movie aren’t even complaints that would come exclusively from a Batman fan. They’re simply the complaints of a person that enjoys coherent, consistent storytelling and characterization. To be sure, there are all kinds of nitpicky surface details that are just terribly handled in this movie – weird editing choices, horribly clunky exposition, Bane’s voice being mixed as though we’re listening to him through headphones – but I’m going to overlook those for the most part, and really just focus on what’s wrong with the story.

In the interest of fairness, The Dark Knight Rises isn’t necessarily a case of Nolan and Co. balking on a slam dunk*. From the first second the film was announced, TDKR found itself in a very tricky position. It was, after all, the long-awaited conclusion to an extremely popular, extremely well-received, and extremely influential trilogy. So riddle me this, true believers: which word in that sentence would you say is the source of the problem?

 * I don’t sports. 

If you guessed ‘conclusion’… then, wow. Color me impressed, because I was really going all-out on the misdirect there. But you are correct! In my humble Bat-pinion, Batman just isn’t the sort of hero that lends himself to finality. He’s driven by rage, but it isn’t targeted at anyone or anything specific. His only long-term goal is ‘abolish crime,’ something even he knows is functionally impossible. He has over a dozen iconic, fantastic villains, but he refuses to kill any of them. And unlike his fellow hero Green Arrow, who considers street-level crime to be a symptom of a larger social disease, Batman is more than happy to treat every symptom that he comes across, with extreme prejudice. Everything about the Batman premise is tailor-made to never reach a satisfying end. I don’t mean to suggest that Chris Nolan was wrong for wanting to put a nice little bow on his Bruce Wayne saga – I definitely respect the desire for dramatic catharsis. But in making that choice, he was forced to retroactively turn the excellent yet episodic stories of his first two Bat-films into the beginning and middle of one big story, something that proved surprisingly difficult, or at least difficult to arrive at organically.

Looking at them from a strictly functional standpoint, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight have almost no significant relationship to one another. We have an origin story, culminating in a villainous plot… and then another, completely different villainous plot. The only thing that really carries over from one story to the next are the characters, which is fine, if not outright preferable, but it also means there are no fruitful plot threads to stretch across a whole trilogy. It seemed like things were going to start picking up speed at the end of The Dark Knight, but the third film, incredibly, starts up a full 8 years later, an endlessly frustrating choice that brings any possible momentum to a screeching halt. By the time we learn that Bane and Talia’s goal in the third film is basically to re-do Ra’s al Ghul’s plan from the first one, things start to feel really muddled. If the franchise had been longer, the bookends would have felt like a nice callback, but with only TDK to fill out the middle of this League of Shadows sandwich, hindsight makes it hard not to view the second film – undoubtedly the series’ best – as unnecessary filler. And while I get that the intention is to come full circle, when the circumference of said circle is that small, it really just comes across as a retread. We already watched Batman beat this level on Normal. Cranking the difficulty up to Hard Mode doesn’t make the objective any more interesting than it was the first time. You can’t squeeze Bat-blood from a Bat-stone.

What the hell is he talking about?

Now, most of that could have been fixed by making TDKR a third standalone story, or at least by following up more actively on the events of The Dark Knight, but even then, there’s still that ugly word that we have to deal with: Conclusion. It was known pretty early on that Chris Nolan and Christian Bale wouldn’t be making more than three Batman movies together, and that’s perfectly understandable. As more and more news came out about the film, though, and certainly by the time you were sitting down to watch it, it became evident that when they said they were done, they meant that they were done. One way or another, Bruce Wayne would not be Batman at the end of this movie. In fact, Bruce Wayne isn’t even Batman at the start of this movie. And that’s kind of a problem, because as Man of Steel showed us, the context in which a film’s core conflict is presented can dramatically change the stakes, and make the overall movie less engaging. Seeing Batman brought to his knees while he’s at the top of his game is visceral and horrifying, but a Batman that comes out of retirement for the sake of the painfully cliché ‘one last job’ dilutes that drama quite a bit. The question we ask ourselves isn’t “can Batman ever hope to bounce back from this?” but rather, “can Batman do this one important thing before he goes back to not being Batman?” While the answer to that first question is “probably, but maybe not fully,” the answer to the second is a straight “yes.” And that’s boring.

I want to take a minute to talk about the whole retirement thing, because it’s quite possibly the part of the film that bothers me most. Any Batman fan will tell you that the real Bruce Wayne would never retire willingly, and if he did ever have to leave the crimefighting game, it would be out of a physical inability to continue*. The fact that Batman retires not once, but twice in this movie is inexcusable to me. There’s a full half-hour stretch at the core of the film that focuses on Bruce pushing himself as far as his body can go so as not to abandon Gotham. But then, once Bane is taken care of and the city is safe again, he totally abandons Gotham by faking his own death. It turns a moment of total selflessness into one that is, at the very least, a little selfish, and is completely out of character for not only the Bruce Wayne of the comics, but also the Bruce Wayne of the previous two movies, and even the Bruce Wayne of the first 160 minutes of this movie.

 * See Batman Beyond for a good example of that, or this movie for a bad one. 

I’m not one of those people that thinks having Bruce survive in the end is a cop-out. Secretly fixing the Bat-autopilot to fake his Bat-death is a totally Batman move. But I dare say, if I may hazard a Bat-guess, that instead of using that fake death to get out of the game, the real Batman would use it as a means to get back into the game, this time as an even more terrifying presence than usual. After all, the only thing criminals would fear more than the Bat is the ghost of the Bat. If the final shot of TDKR had been a slow pan over the Gotham City skyline, coming to rest on the shadowy figure of the Batman, ever the watchful protector, even in death, everything that was stupid about that bomb plot* would have been forgiven. Sure, he does leave John Blake behind to take his place (I refuse to call him Robin), but that guy doesn’t have a fraction of the training or resources that Bruce had. I think we can all agree that he’ll be dead within a week. I bet you it’s not even a criminal that does it. He probably breaks his neck trying to glide off a rooftop or something dumb like that. What an idiot.

 * a.k.a the entirety of the bomb plot. 

As far as the first retirement is concerned, that’s written off as a result of the citywide manhunt at the end of The Dark Knight, and the need for Batman is later negated by a long stretch of tranquility in Gotham. I think both of those reasons are a load of guano – there’s no level of crime that Batman would consider “acceptably low” – but whatever. What I simply cannot get over is the fact that Bruce’s health problems in the film are completely disingenuous. We’re told early on in the movie that Batman retired literally moments after Harvey Dent’s death, which – and I hope you’ll forgive me for harping on this – is itself a hugely wasted opportunity.

"We'll hunt him. Because he can take it. Unless he decides he doesn't want to be hunted and just disappears. In which case, I guess that's fine."

And yet, the Bruce Wayne we see at the beginning of TDKR is in much, much worse shape than the one in the final scene of The Dark Knight. What the hell happened to him in the meantime? Because according to this film, the answer is nothing. Bruce’s limp and physical weakness are clearly shoehorned in as an attempt to stack the odds against him once Bane arrives, but the thing is that Batman doesn’t need to be at a disadvantage to lose to Bane. Bane can just be better than him. Bane is better than him. That’s kind of Bane’s whole thing – he’s the one who broke the Bat. By forcing qualifiers onto that fact, you change Bane from a terrifying, brutal force of nature into some weird-voiced, civics-obsessed asshole that just likes to kick people while they’re down.

Of course, as you may have guessed, Bane has his own share of problems aside from that one. Even though the first two Nolan Batmen weren’t strictly connected, they both found a thematic richness by exploring exactly what it means to be the Batman. Batman Begins, for instance, featured the Scarecrow as one of its main villains, prompting a comparison between himself and Bruce in terms of the way they each use fear as a tool. Following that, The Dark Knight delved into the questions raised by Batman’s moral code, placing Bruce and the Joker at opposite extremes, and allowing Two-Face to split the difference between them, as it were.

Heh.

Finally, The Dark Knight Rises has Bane, whose whole shtick really is, as I said above, just kind of being better than Batman. (And also having a life-threatening dependency on a super-steroid. And also looking like a luchador.) That wouldn’t allow much of a give and take with Bruce, though, so Nolan and Goyer decided to give their Bane ties to the League of Shadows – a move that does have precedent in the source material – and a tendency to speechify about anything that pops into his head at the moment. Hope, despair, sacrifice, torment, darkness, dishonesty, vengeance, citizenship… the list goes on. Through Bane, the movie becomes about so many things that it basically fails to be about anything, or at least not anything quantifiable.

"I will destroy you, Batman, and everything you hold dear… But first, I'd like to shay a few words about the Social Contract."

Bane’s ideological grandstanding does make sense from a character perspective, if we’re being charitable. He wants to prove that Gotham is a bed of degeneracy before he destroys it, which is in keeping with what we know about the League of Shadows from Begins. But, wait. Why is Gotham still on the League’s hit list all? After the Dent Act put away all of the city’s high-ranking mobsters, crime rates dropped so low that the police force was barely even needed anymore. Normally, I wouldn’t buy that claim for a second, but that’s what the film explicitly tells us, and within its first ten minutes, at that.

Pictured: All crime in Gotham, apparently.

I think the reason this all sits so poorly with me is that Bane turns out to be right. Without their police force – which was described just over an hour before as glorified babysitters, mind you – Gothamites resort almost immediately to looting and murder.  Is that really the kind of place we even want to see saved? Granted, it’s possible, because the movie evidently has no desire to make this clear, that all the dystopian stuff is coming at the hands of Bane’s men and the Blackgate prisoners… but if that’s the case, isn’t he cheating? Either way, it all rings false, and the film’s third act boils down to a lot of wheel-spinning, all couched in themes that it doesn’t even come close to earning.

Honestly, the only logical way I can manage to read Bane is as someone who’s self-important and principled, but not all that bright, intentionally spewing out shallow, conflicting rhetoric in an effort to appear authoritative. That’s disappointing, because the character was conceived by his creators to be a legitimate genius, and if there’s one thing Bane should never, ever have to resort to, it’s posturing. Still, I don’t see any other options here. He is, at the very least, proven to be a liar when he claims that he didn’t see the light until he was already a man.

Seems legit.

Ultimately, that’s what I think this whole film is: posturing. It works like gangbusters the first time around, but when it’s all over and we’re able to look back at the big picture, all of its drama – and a not insignificant amount of its logic – starts to fall apart.

That’s heartbreaking to me, not just because I love Batman, but because there are moments where greatness genuinely starts to shine through. The film’s version of Selina Kyle, for instance, is a fantastic interpretation for this more grounded universe, and is fantastically acted by Anne Hathaway. Sadly, she’s largely pigeonholed into the film’s pointless B (C? D??) plot, in which the Wayne fortune is stolen out from under Bruce’s nose. The whole thing is a convoluted mess of reasoning and motivational gymnastics that culminate in Bane gaining access to the generator/bomb, but I feel like that’s something that he easily could have achieved by force, and if you watch the scene where it actually happens, he pretty much does exactly that. If it weren’t for Selina, I wouldn’t be able think of a single justification for leaving any of those scenes in the script. Even her relationship with Bruce is underdeveloped; it seems like the only reason he comes to her for help over anyone else is because she’s Catwoman. Still, she’s electrifying every moment she’s on screen, and while I guess it’s neat that Goyer and Nolan created an entire subplot for her, it’s disappointing that they couldn’t be bothered to find something a bit more straightforward and important for her to do.

So, I hope it’s come across at least a little bit that I am genuinely conflicted about this movie. On the one hand, it’s a moving story about a hero past his prime who returns in his beloved city’s hour of need, giving everything he has to rid his home of the demons that he himself inadvertently created.

On the other hand, it’s about a crazy retired vigilante who un-retires, fails miserably, hangs in a sling for five months, flies around in a plane for a few minutes, and then re-retires.

The film isn’t unsalvageable by any stretch, but I honestly wouldn’t go so far as to call it entertaining, and it certainly isn’t as successful as its Bat-brethren. It’s very, very close to good, but it’s completely in the dark about what it wants to accomplish thematically, or even how to finish its own story. And boy, is it long. It is too gorram long. It is, like, a full hour too long.

Speaking of which…

I will wrap this up now, but I want to go out on a positive note, and that means talking about the one part of this movie that made me happier than any other.

This Guy



I freaking love what the Nolan trilogy did with Jonathan Crane, because its treatment of him felt like one of the few genuine depictions in a movie of how comic books actually utilize their characters. He just won’t go away! He brings nothing to the plot in any movie besides the first, but he’s still there, committing crimes, because he is a career criminal. Supervillains don’t invest all their energy into one evil plan and then give up. They keep coming back, even after Batman no longer considers them a threat. Sure, Goyer and Nolan could have had Batman bust Oswald Cobblepot at the beginning of The Dark Knight, or have Edward Nigma preside over the kangaroo court in TDKR. That would have been amazing, but they didn’t do that. They also could have had nameless thugs in both roles, which would have been disappointing, but they didn’t do that either. Instead, they made it the Scarecrow, and I really, really love that they did.

Well... that’s it, true believers. With this post, the Summer of Superheroes is officially over. The blog will keep going, but it will be returned to the hands of CineMike Matthews, and will no longer update on a weekly schedule. As for me? I’m going to take a page out of Bruce Wayne’s playbook and go spend some time in Italy canoodling with Anne Hathaway. Thank you so, so much to everyone who’s followed along this summer – it means a lot to me. And don’t worry. I’ll be seeing you again soon: same Bat-time*, same Bat-URL. 
- SuperMike Matthews 

 * Actual Bat-time TBD. 




Saturday, August 9, 2014

The Little Blockbuster That Could

Every week during the Summer of Superheroes, SuperMike Matthews breaks down the ins and outs of a current superhero franchise.
                                                                
This week: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY! 



 WARNING: The following post discusses the film in its entirety. If you want to see Guardians and haven’t yet, you should probably bookmark this and come back later. If you don’t want to see the film, so be it, but I urge you to reconsider. 

I worry that I put myself in something of a corner when I teased this Guardians of the Galaxy post in last week’s stinger. True, I saw the movie the very next day, as planned, but that part wasn’t the problem. The thing I had no way of knowing was whether or not I would have anything remotely interesting to say about it afterwards. All told, it was a bit presumptuous.

Fortunately, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about Guardians since then. Unfortunately, a lot of that thought has come at the instigation of film critics who, sensing the presence of a widely lauded summer blockbuster, emerged from their perpetual, private screenings of The Master to tell me that I am exactly what’s wrong with the entertainment industry today.

Artist's Depiction

Now I’m no enemy of criticism, as my past writings will prove. In fact, I’m much more frustrated by fans who would argue that you shouldn’t ‘waste time’ putting serious thought into a movie that stars a talking raccoon. (I’m not necessarily suggesting that people with that opinion should die in a fire… but, you know, look at the name of this blog.) I think Guardians is a great movie – and apparently 92% of critics on Rotten Tomatoes feel the same – but it does have its share of shortcomings, several of which I’ve seen pointed out and agree with. After all, loving something doesn’t mean denying its flaws, it means accepting them*. The reviews that really bother me, then, are those in which the writers clearly – and perhaps willfully – misunderstood the movie due to their own preconceptions of the superhero genre. Reading them, you’ll find that they’re either overflowing with confirmation bias, or inexplicably written with the thesis statement of ‘this film reminds me of another film, and is therefore terrible.’

 * The same thing applies to people. Important life lessons happening on the blog this week. 

In begrudging fairness to those critics, Guardians did receive a surprisingly disproportionate amount of hype and attention in the months leading up to its release. This was mostly because of the obscurity of the characters; the Guardians have been around since 1969, but the lineup seen in the film debuted only six years ago, meaning the team was just barely older than the cinematic universe it would soon become a part of*. This news was naturally met with delight from fanboys everywhere. “While DC keeps struggling to get Wonder Woman off the ground,” they cackled, “Marvel is about to put out a movie starring Rocket freaking Raccoon.” Yes, one of those cacklers was me.

 * Actually, the members of the current team, as individuals, all have publication histories that go back anywhere from 38 to 54 years. It’s a bit complicated. 

The film was perceived by audiences as a victory lap, and in more ways than one: it would be a crucial blow not just in Marvel’s battle against DC, but in the overall battle for superhero legitimacy. If Guardians succeeded, just about any superhero property could plausibly do the same, from Stilt Man, all the way to Lady Stilt Man. (The film’s post-credits scene even sneaks in a knowing reference to one of the all-time low points in comic book movie history.) Because of that, it almost makes sense that proponents of capital-C Cinema would place such a huge target on its back. To them, Guardians might have been their last chance to put an end to the superhero ‘fad’ once and for all. Of course, when the film finally premiered, and shattered records for an opening weekend in August, it became somewhat evident that they were fighting a losing battle.

Would I lie to you?

The other, more important reason for the excitement surrounding Guardians was its tone, which was radically different from the comic book movies we’d become used to seeing. It had no pretentions of grittiness, no concern with making itself seem like ‘legitimate’ cinema (a la the Nolan Batmen), and could barely even be bothered to take itself seriously. Honestly, what other superhero property would put out a trailer that called its protagonists “a bunch of a-holes” while Blue Swede’s “Hooked on a Feeling” played in the background? Hellboy might have been able to get away with it, but that doesn’t mean its marketing team would have tried. Listening to people talk, you would think that Guardians was going to be the superhero movie that redefined superhero movies, something so shockingly different that it would completely explode the status quo for all time.

I wouldn’t say the finished product lived up to that expectation, but then, I can’t imagine a film that could. The truth is, Guardians isn’t actually that different from anything we’ve seen before. Star-Lord is basically a pre-Starfleet Captain Kirk. Rocket undergoes almost every beat of Han Solo’s Episode IV rogue-turned-hero arc. Gamora is given some reasonably strong material, but the real fleshing out of her character is all either implied or mentioned in passing. Drax the Destroyer’s single-minded simplicity works surprisingly well, but that doesn’t change the fact that there’s not much to him. And as Groot, Vin Diesel basically plays the Iron Giant again. I’m not saying any of those things in a negative light; it’s simply to indicate that the film wasn’t bucking convention at every turn the way some might have hoped. It’s still been tremendously well-received, and I think that’s because James Gunn wisely focused his energies somewhere else entirely. Guardians of the Galaxy may not be an unpredictable movie, but it is a very, very weird one. That, in fact, is its biggest triumph: it’s completely alien, but never alienating.

Much was made of the fact that Guardians would feature, among other things, a talking raccoon and a giant tree-man. Yes, characters like Rocket, Groot, and Yondu took a lot of balls to put onscreen in such a big-budget movie, and a lot of the crazy things that were featured, like Knowhere and Cosmo, came straight out of the comics, but the more impressive feat is that after a while, you kind of stop noticing. Rocket isn’t just a talking raccoon; he’s Rocket, and Rocket just so happens to be a raccoon. If it was up to him, the matter of his species would never even be part of the conversation. The same goes for Groot, despite his speech impediment. Even Drax, whose inability to understand figurative language is (very successfully) played for laughs throughout the film, is never actually made the butt of the joke. Almost every character in this movie is weird on a superficial level, but that unfamiliarity doesn’t preclude any of them from being fully realized people, and it certainly doesn’t define them as it would in a lesser film. That’s what Guardians is all about in the end: a group of imperfect people who come together and learn to accept one another’s flaws.


And boy, are they flawed. Reckless, selfish, self-important, misanthropic, sadistic, immature, and completely unable to communicate effectively. These are people we quickly grow to care about and want to see succeed, but darn it all if their personalities don't make things difficult for them in the most entertaining way possible.

The weakest part of Guardians, then, is its narrative conflict, and specifically its villain, a figure that, unlike his castmates, leans on familiarity at the expense of a fully realized character, continuing a discouraging trend among post-Avengers Marvel films. It’s fine to build characters off of archetypes in the way that Guardians does, because it gives us an immediate understanding of who these people are and what makes them tick. That in turn allows the writer to begin expanding or subverting our expectations right away. The thing is, that second step is extremely important, and for its main cast, Guardians achieves that in spades. But when it comes to the film’s vengeance-obsessed villain, Ronan the Accuser? Let’s just say we’re lucky we even got the archetype. Thankfully, he dodges the bullet of simply being evil for evil’s sake, because he is given a backstory: his father and grandfather were killed in the Kree-Xandar war, and when a peace treaty ends the conflict, he is forced to seek justice on his own terms. In that sense, he isn’t even out to destroy the galaxy, despite what the film’s title may suggest. He really only has a beef with Xandar, which, while still a bit extreme, is a clear motive that we can easily wrap our heads around. All the same, a motivation doesn’t equate to a personality, and a personality is exactly what Ronan comes out lacking. Did he love his father? Did he know his father? Has he denounced his fellow Kree after the treaty, or does he hope they will consider him a hero? What does he plan to do after destroying Xandar? These are all questions the film seems to consider unimportant, and that’s too bad, especially given the complex morality of the character’s comic book counterpart, who is always working for what he considers to be his people's best interests (and also isn't dead).

Still, this version of Ronan is defeated in a dance-off to The Five Stairsteps’ “O-o-h Child,” and that is unabashedly awesome.

 Absolutely unforgivable? Wasting two-time Oscar nominee Djimon Hounsou on a three-minute role as Korath the Pursuer, one of Ronan’s Kree henchmen. This makes him the third prominent black actor, after Idris Elba and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, to be cast in an MCU project as an extremely minor Marvel character that wasn’t even black to begin with. Tactics like those may promote diversity on the surface, but all they really do is prevent these great actors from reappearing later on in roles more worthy of their talent. –Ed. 

As far as stakes go, it's never as clear as it ought to be what Ronan is capable of, with or without the Power Stone, but I would say that the safety of Xandar is enough in doubt by the film’s end to create some reasonable tension. Yes, there’s a point at which it becomes obvious that Ronan will fail – namely, after all of our heroes are in point-blank range of his Planet Destroying Hammer of Doom – but because this story is being told on a cosmic scale, it’s not a given that the planet will emerge unscathed, the way it would have been if the whole film had taken place there. Even so, I think this is another area in which things can be a little hazy for those who aren’t familiar with the source material. As shown in the movie, Xandar is the homeworld of the peace-keeping Nova Corps, but what Guardians neglects to mention is that the Nova Corps serves as a police force not just for their own planet, but for multiple galaxies. The loss of Xandar would be equivalent to the loss of the Green Lantern Corps, if you’re a DC fan, or the destruction of the Rebel base on Yavin 4, if you prefer your fruit to be of the low-hanging variety. Ronan’s victory would result in widespread, intergalactic unrest, and I daresay knowing that would have made us a lot more invested in whether or not he succeeds.

I also couldn't help but notice some throwaway lines about evacuating the city, which I feel like must have been a response to something…


Right. That.

 Xandar's fate was particularly up in the air for me because it is eventually destroyed in the comics. The culprit is none other than Nebula, played in Guardians by Doctor Who’s Karen Gillan, sporting some awesome prosthetics and a nice sense of swagger. (That's pretty much the most positive thing I can say about the character. Sorry, Karen... I love you anyway.) -Ed. 

What If?


The future of the Guardians is pretty blue sky right now, with the only real loose end at this point being the identity of Peter's father*, but it’s hard to imagine a sequel that won’t delve even further into Thanos and the Infinity Stones. That’s too bad, honestly, because I felt that those elements of mythology were some of the few things that dragged down this first installment. I got pretty excited to see Thanos myself, but I always have trouble divorcing what the movies tell us from what I know through outside sources, and it seemed to me that for the average viewer, surprisingly little is done to bring him into context. He starts out as the guy that’s going to destroy Xandar for Ronan, but then Ronan decides that, nah, he’ll do it himself, and Thanos just kind of goes away. There’s some lip service paid to the fact that Gamora and Nebula are his adopted daughters, but again, we’re given no indication of why that should matter. Even his history with Drax was changed, albeit for valid reasons that help streamline the movie. To anyone who hasn't done their research, Thanos is just a big purple dude in a chair, and that’s a pretty big injustice to the character, one I imagine the sequel will look to fix.

 * Officially, it's this guy, but I wouldn't be surprised if the MCU version winds up being someone else. Who else? Your guess is as good as mine. 

As for the Infinity Stones, we now know a lot more about them (read: something other than their name), and have three present and accounted for, with three more to go. It's a nice touch that each of the identified stones is being held in equally secure but very distant locations: one in Asgard, one with the Collector, and one with the Nova Corps. When Thanos finally makes his move and starts going after them, things won't be easy for him, that's for sure.

The fact that Xandar now possesses the Power Gem is especially intriguing to me, because it suggests that this gem might become the MCU version of the comics’ vaguely defined Nova Force, a hivemind of energy that gives the members of the Nova Corps varying levels of superhuman abilities. Since the Gem is established here as a source of unlimited power that can only be safely harnessed when shared among multiple people, using it as a Nova Force stand-in would be a remarkably efficient use of established facts to retroactively turn Guardians into a Nova Corps origin story. Of course, if such a thing ends up happening, my above paragraph on Xandar’s significance would be invalid, because they wouldn’t have actually started policing the universe yet. Still, if Marvel commits to an idea as narratively satisfying as that one, I’d have no problem being wrong.

One last character to be on the lookout for: Adam Warlock. A major player in Marvel's cosmic stories, Warlock is a genetically perfect human being, and is usually in possession of the Soul Gem, one of the three Infinity Stones still M.I.A. The mid-credits scene of Thor: The Dark World confirmed that his cocoon was once in the Collector's possession - yes, Warlock has a cocoon - but his whereabouts post-Power Gem explosion are unknown.

Anyway… that's all I've got.



 Next Week: RISE 

Friday, August 1, 2014

To Infinity… and Beyond!


Congratulations, true believers! By reaching this point, you now know enough about superheroes to hold your own in a casual conversation about comics! (Unless this is your first time reading the blog, in which case you have some back issues to catch up on.)

With all the current franchises out of the way, we look now to the future, and because I like you all so very much, I present you with this parting gift: a handy field guide to the next three years of superhero cinema. Each entry includes the studio making the film, the (US) release date, and a summary of any noteworthy information. Not every announced project is represented, but in most of those cases, little is known beyond the title and date anyway.

To all of you who’ve been reading along these past two months – if any of you exist – I want to sincerely thank you, and I hope that the knowledge I’ve shared in that time will help guide you along the path to enlightenment. Or at least to a good time at the movies.

Excelsior!

What’s Next?

 _________________________________________________________________________________

 

Who’s Making It?
Marvel Studios

When Does It Come Out?
Today! Go see it right now!

Why Should I Care?
Do you like Star Wars? What about Chris Pratt? Maybe Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Zoe Saldana, Batista, John C. Reilly, Glenn Close, Karen Gillan, Lee Pace, Djimon Hounsou, Benicio Del Toro, or Merle from The Walking Dead will strike your fancy? Honestly, if there wasn’t at least one name on that list that got you excited, I don’t think you actually enjoy entertainment.

In addition to its stellar cast*, Guardians is the first big-budget movie directed by James Gunn, an indie director who, up until now, was known mostly for his brilliantly insane genre films like Slither and Super. From the sound of things, Marvel didn’t inhibit him at all in the making of this movie, meaning that it’ll be just as out-there as his other work, but with a lot more special effects and explody things.

The movie also has a giant tree man and a pissed-off, homicidal raccoon as two of its main characters. You know you want to see this.

 * Ba-dum tss 
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Who?
Disney, based on a Marvel property

When?
November 7, 2014

Why Should I Care?
Quite simply, Disney has been on a roll for the last few years. Even though I’ll always prefer Wreck-It Ralph to Frozen, most other people will tell you – justifiably – that ever since The Princess and the Frog, each new movie they’ve put out has been better than their last. Big Hero 6 is the latest project from the House of Mouse, and will depart pretty heavily from its source material, but it certainly looks promising.

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Who?
Marvel Television

When?
January 2015

Why Should I Care?
Old-timey spy show? A (genuine) strong female protagonist? Two female showrunners? Captain America spinoff? MORE DUM DUM DUGAN!?

What’s not to like?
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Who?
Marvel Studios

When?
May 1, 2015

Why Should I Care?
If the projected box office is any indication, you probably already have a ticket.
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Daredevil (TV Series)
Who?
Marvel Television/Netflix

When?
May 2015

Why Should I Care?
The simplest answer is “because Daredevil is cool,” but if you need more reason than that, just know that this show will be the start of a kind of second tier within the MCU, in which Daredevil, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, and Jessica Jones all get their own 13-episode series on Netflix. These shows will cross over mostly with one another, but will also exist in the same continuity as the other MCU films. 
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Untitled Fantastic Four reboot
Who?
Fox

When?
June 19, 2015

Why Should I Care?
I know what you’re thinking: with a name like that, the movie practically sells itself!

I genuinely don’t know what to say to make someone excited about this movie, other than reminding you that the Fantastic Four are, and have always been, some of the most important Marvel characters of all time. Even then, that’s really more of a reason for Marvel to reacquire the group’s film rights, something this reboot can only stand in the way of.

The actors playing the titular quartet – Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Jamie Bell, and Michael B. Jordan – are all talented enough, even if half of them are much too young to play their roles believably. Casting Jordan and Mara as interracial siblings might shake things up in an interesting way, but none of it is enough to pique my interest, let alone most of yours.

Also, there are rumors that the film and its inevitable sequels will share a continuity with Fox’s other Marvel holdings, namely the X-Men series. Because two universes of interlocking superhero franchises just wasn’t enough, am I right?
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Who?
Marvel Studios

When?
July 17, 2015

Why Should I Care?
This question would have been much, much easier to answer a few months ago. You see, this project is actually one of Marvel’s oldest, dating back to 2006, when the studio teamed up with Edgar Wright – one of the best comedy directors working today, and the man behind Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, The World’s End, and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Wright spent the next 7 years working on Ant-Man on and off, but in late May of this year, only a few weeks before shooting was scheduled to begin, it was announced that he would be leaving the film due to creative differences. Since then, Ant-Man has become the Internet’s new favorite punching bag, with some people calling for the film to be cancelled altogether. It’s understandable; most interested parties didn’t care about an Ant-Man movie so much as they cared about Edgar Wright’s Ant-Man movie, and the character himself sounds pretty stupid on paper (he can shrink and talk to ants).

At this point, any new Ant-Man news is quickly declared blasphemous and blamed on post-Edgar studio meddling, because the Internet is petty and awful and apparently doesn’t realize how much effort actually goes into rewriting a script. Even with three new writers hired since Wright’s departure (one of whom is frequent Will Ferrell collaborator Adam McKay), there’s no way that a shooting draft could be put together from scratch before filming begins later this month. Edgar Wright will retain, at the very least, a story credit for Ant-Man, and if he doesn’t, I’ll eat my hat collection.

On top of that, the film still has a lot of other things going for it: Paul Rudd and Michael Douglas will be playing the two leads, new director Peyton Reed (Bring It On, Yes Man) has firmly established credentials as a comic book fan, and Wright presumably finished a lot of pre-viz before leaving the project, meaning that the action scenes should still contain a decent amount of his distinct visual flair.

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Who?
Warner Bros.

When?
March 25, 2016

Why Should I Care?
The only thing better than watching Superman and Batman fight is watching Superman and Batman be best friends (PROOF). Despite its title, I remain hopeful that this movie will give us both of those things. It’s also the first live-action film to feature Wonder Woman and Aquaman, yet another element that the name utterly fails to convey.

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X-Men: Apocalypse
Who?
Fox

When?
May 27, 2016

Why Should I Care?
The X-Men franchise is apparently harder to kill than Wolverine, and even though I still haven’t seen Days of Future Past, it sounds like the series is entering into a new groove here. Apocalypse is certainly a noteworthy villain, and worth getting excited over, but if you want a true recommendation, I’m afraid you’ll have to ask someone else.
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Doctor Strange
Who?
Marvel Studios

When?
July 8, 2016

Why Should I Care?
Ignoring street-level folks like the aforementioned Daredevil, the Marvel Universe is split roughly into thirds: science-based heroes, cosmic heroes, and mystical heroes. We were introduced to those first two groups by Iron Man and Thor, respectively, but Doctor Strange will be our guide into that fabled third gate. Plus, he may be played by Joaquin Phoenix. How awesomely insane would that be?
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The Sinister Six
Who?
Sony

When?
November 11, 2016

Why Should I Care?
Aren’t you at least a little curious to know what six villains would do if they had to work together and didn’t have a Spider-Man to fight?
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Justice League
Who?
Warner Bros.

When?
May 2017

Why Should I Care?




 Next Week: A bonus entry about a bunch of A-holes.